The Tale of Two Cities

The Holy City. Charleston. I remember as we pulled a huge moving van into the neighborhood where we were renting our home thinking I wanted to plant roots there, make a life. I was starting PA school and after living in Texas, we were ready to get back to the southeast and closer to family. Of course, we, being a little wet-behind-the-ears, decided we needed to buy a house to prove our commitment to create a home. It was probably my coaxing that persuaded my husband. I was an avid real estate searcher. That’s what I would do in my infrequent free time between studying body systems. I wanted a house and I wanted it to be mine. The American dream was my dream.

We entered the Holy City with no debt. Brad is an incredibly smart and talented man and he garnered the honor of a full-ride scholarship to divinity school. I was not that lucky and was forced into the student loan system (aka-you pay a second house payment for the next 10-20 years of your life). Now I could have just taken out what I needed for school tuition expenses, but this was free money and we had a lifestyle to lead. So we basically used my student loans as an extra income-living the high-life and not thinking about the consequences. Then two smart people became a little more dumb. We decided to use the student loan money to cover our mortgage for this new house we wanted to build. This all occurred around 2008, right as the market plunged and the Great Recession began. So now, we were in debt “up to our eyeballs” but feeling pretty good about things.

We were still committed to setting a foundation in Charleston and decided to start our family in our bright yellow house on Celtic Drive. But we began hearing and feeling a tug to be closer to family. A number of factors led us to Chattanooga. I was graduating, there was a baby on the way, and Brad was called to serve a congregation in another city. Then there was this house.

We prayed that this yellow house was to be a light in the neighborhood, a place for church members and friends to come and have fun and have a glass of wine or a Bible study. But what ended up happening was it became  the one thing we hadn't moved on from. We couldn't sell it and we couldn't afford to just keep trying, so we rented it out. We lost money every month and when there was a repair to be made, we lost even more money. So the little yellow house was still keeping us on our toes, and in a way, not letting us be fully committed to our new home Chattanooga.

When we arrived in Chattanooga, we decided to be a little smarter, renting a home for a reasonable price so we could cover the expense of owning another home. I was a new mom, no job prospects on the horizon, so we had to live a little thin. But then I got a job, felt a little more secure and we lost our minds again. We had a second child on the way. The 2 bedroom/1 bath house was not going to do so we were going to need to buy another home. Of course! Student loans, one mortgage, two mortgages…no problem! American dream times two! Now I’m not a trained mathematician, but the amount of debt we took on in 5 short years was astounding! And given that nothing in life is guaranteed, we could have been in big trouble if either of us had lost our jobs. Fortunately, that didn't happen. Fortunately, in all of our stupidity, God gave us a little mercy and kept us stable. We took a financial class (Dave Ramsey does know what he’s talking about). We started saving a little better and finally on August 5^th, 2014, four years after moving away from Charleston, we sold our little yellow house. There wasn't a lot of joy or celebrating because in a lot of ways we had moved on. We treasure our friends and memories we have left behind, but we have so many new memories that are being created today in our new place, in our home. 

If I could go back to that 1^st-year graduate student and look her in the face and say-“you don’t have to have it all right now. I would.” Why do we think we have to have the best all at once, and more importantly, why does our culture promote “debt up to our eyeballs” as being success? It is so easy to see why so many people live on that thin line between the black and red. We are conditioned to believe we deserve all of these things up front and then we can put the work in later.

Our tale doesn't end in Chattanooga. In fact, who knows where it will end? But Chattanooga has been the “growing up place” where Charleston was the “wild spring break” for us. We are fortunate that we have survived our mistakes pretty much unscathed.  We will certainly hope that others can hear this tale and not dive into the debt avalanche that we tried to ride. And in the end, our two cities have been stepping stones for our incredible journey of friendship, life lessons, and our nets of support. We won’t make the same mistake twice, maybe you can make sure you don’t make it once!