The mommy's one saving grace was that her wonderful aunt needed a ride back up to the great mitten state and would be her co-pilot and she was bringing her dog! Perfect. Entertainment value right there. The trip was planned. Snacks were bought. A video collection that could rival the best in Hollywood was assembled and the car cleaned (I'm not sure why I cleaned the car before the trip, because, yeah, 12 hours in a car with 2 boys, a dog, and two adults...but I digress).
So at 1pm EST, we all shuffled into the minivan that would be our little world for the road home. We turned a video on, it was naptime, there were snacks evenly distributed among passengers. Good-byes said to my sweet husband, and big hugs for Daddy. An early departure was just what this driver wanted! Glory, hallelujah, this was going to be great!
It started about 20 minutes down the road. The question, "how long until we're there?" (But please add a little bit of a whiny voice to this). Then more requests for snacks, fruit snacks to be precise. Some more Capri Suns, please? All needs were met. The little one even feel asleep! Yes, we were going to hit our 7 hour mark exactly, no problem.
And this is where God laughed and said, "Let their be chaos!" I may have been talking and missed the I-75 by-pass sign. But I knew there was another access area in just a few miles. That's when the oldest yelled, "I have to go POTTY, NOW!" This is not an instruction that he is just feeling the urge to urinate. This means the child has probably been holding it since mile marker 4 and we are now on mile marker 150. The night before this was uttered and he proceeded to not wait while I got his little brother out of his carseat, but instead head to the grassy area facing a major road, pull down his shorts and water the lawn while waving at passers-by. So I knew my time was short. Next exit, everybody out, everybody bathroomed, everybody good...for now.
Shortly after this we were back on the road. The eldest had fallen asleep. The youngest was somewhat entertained by throwing everything onto the floor, requesting it back, and then throwing back onto the floor (and silently laughing at our stupidity, I am convinced). Then we heard the dreaded words, "I don't feel good" and an amazing array of purples, reds, and blues were being thrown up onto seats, shirts, and most pathetically chins. And it is here that I will never, ever stop being thankful that another adult was in my car that day. I grabbed the sick child, Mary quickly cleaned a saturated seat, and then took a wiggly two-year-old for a walk while I attempted to change the soiled clothes.
Now we were still in the great state of Tennessee. It was 95 degrees outside. Isaiah was running a slight fever and he was insistent that he wear Michigan sweatpants, and a long-sleeve Michigan shirt. At that point, I was not fighting the potential fight of making him realize this would potentially result in him feeling worse and, god forbid, another round of puking. So I turned up the air as high and as cold as possible and we all boarded the Michigan-mobile for another round. This usually 2 1/2 hour trip was now teetering on 4 hours. Next stop: Lexington, KY!
Bennett has never been a car-rider. Since birth, there have been 10 minute car rides that seemed to last for days, so 4 hours into the trip and he was getting restless. I think he just liked screaming, "MOMMY!" every 2 minutes. Not to really give me any indication of what he needed, but just to shriek and send the decibel level in the car up. As we approached the Lexington exits, it was around 6pm. Our goal that night was to get to Lima, OH, another 3 hours away. This wasn't happening.
We found a Quizno's with an outdoor seating area because we did have a wee little dog to contend with as well. Bennett immediately ran around the outdoor area like he'd been trapped for hours in a small, confined space (oh wait, he was trapped in a small, confined space). I don't think he even sat down for more than a blink of an eye. And then my children ate the most nutritious dinner of cheetos and chocolate milk. Yes, I'm fully aware that they are what they eat and this was not going to make #1's belly feel any better, but you know what? I also wasn't going to waste money on incredibly healthy food that would not even pass the lips of these small babes.
After dinner we loaded up again and I said a prayer/demand that we get to Dayton tonight. Mary crawled in the back to provide her services of changing videos, reading books and helping little one play a game on my phone. What did parents do without all this technology on road trips? They must have been excruciating. The question of when are we going to be at the hotel started not long after our re-entry onto the highway. But I was in a zone. We were getting to Dayton tonight. When we did get to Dayton, Bennett announced, "I need to STAND UP" and was doing his best to make that happen in his carseat. The child must be related to Houdini.
I had been researching pet-friendly hotels and we pulled into one that I was pretty sure should have just said, "Bedbugs or fleas come free with a night's stay" so we looked for something else. We pulled into a nice looking building and all jumped out and into the freedom from the car. The kids ran into the lobby and immediately were out of sight as the careened down the halls so glad a seatbelt wasn't keeping them stationary. We boarded the elevator to the second floor and Isaiah wanted to push the button which was fine. What wasn't fine is that Bennett is much shorter and the buttons he can push either stop the elevator or call for an emergency, so we called for an emergency, because frankly, that is the best choice when you are two. I may have run down the hall away from the elevator so I didn't have to explain myself to the person that was about to answer the page. The woman that checked us in admitted later that she knew it was us, and that she knew which child was responsible immediately. I mean, c'mon engineers, lets put these buttons at the exact eye-level of very hyper, overly traveled children. What did you think was going to happen?
Isaiah conked out almost as soon as we got everyone in pajamas, I think Bennett thought he was auditioning for Cirque Du Soleil. I know at one point I heard, "Watch this, Maaawee (Mary), I gonna flip". And he did. Onto the dog. Finally after convincing this small ball of energy to be still. He fell asleep. And I drifted off to sweet slumber.
After the first days shenanigans, I was ready to get HOME. Quickly. And we did. The children were awesome, entertained, and well-behaved. This must have been GRACE because I just don't know if I could have handled more bodily fluids, screaming, or multiple unexpected stops. We made it! We survived! We were not to be bound to this car for any longer. It was all Happily Ever After...then I remembered I do have to return to Tennessee. Aw Lawd! Please pray for me! And remind me next time I think this is a good idea to just buy a plane ticket!
Bennett has never been a car-rider. Since birth, there have been 10 minute car rides that seemed to last for days, so 4 hours into the trip and he was getting restless. I think he just liked screaming, "MOMMY!" every 2 minutes. Not to really give me any indication of what he needed, but just to shriek and send the decibel level in the car up. As we approached the Lexington exits, it was around 6pm. Our goal that night was to get to Lima, OH, another 3 hours away. This wasn't happening.
We found a Quizno's with an outdoor seating area because we did have a wee little dog to contend with as well. Bennett immediately ran around the outdoor area like he'd been trapped for hours in a small, confined space (oh wait, he was trapped in a small, confined space). I don't think he even sat down for more than a blink of an eye. And then my children ate the most nutritious dinner of cheetos and chocolate milk. Yes, I'm fully aware that they are what they eat and this was not going to make #1's belly feel any better, but you know what? I also wasn't going to waste money on incredibly healthy food that would not even pass the lips of these small babes.
After dinner we loaded up again and I said a prayer/demand that we get to Dayton tonight. Mary crawled in the back to provide her services of changing videos, reading books and helping little one play a game on my phone. What did parents do without all this technology on road trips? They must have been excruciating. The question of when are we going to be at the hotel started not long after our re-entry onto the highway. But I was in a zone. We were getting to Dayton tonight. When we did get to Dayton, Bennett announced, "I need to STAND UP" and was doing his best to make that happen in his carseat. The child must be related to Houdini.
I had been researching pet-friendly hotels and we pulled into one that I was pretty sure should have just said, "Bedbugs or fleas come free with a night's stay" so we looked for something else. We pulled into a nice looking building and all jumped out and into the freedom from the car. The kids ran into the lobby and immediately were out of sight as the careened down the halls so glad a seatbelt wasn't keeping them stationary. We boarded the elevator to the second floor and Isaiah wanted to push the button which was fine. What wasn't fine is that Bennett is much shorter and the buttons he can push either stop the elevator or call for an emergency, so we called for an emergency, because frankly, that is the best choice when you are two. I may have run down the hall away from the elevator so I didn't have to explain myself to the person that was about to answer the page. The woman that checked us in admitted later that she knew it was us, and that she knew which child was responsible immediately. I mean, c'mon engineers, lets put these buttons at the exact eye-level of very hyper, overly traveled children. What did you think was going to happen?
Isaiah conked out almost as soon as we got everyone in pajamas, I think Bennett thought he was auditioning for Cirque Du Soleil. I know at one point I heard, "Watch this, Maaawee (Mary), I gonna flip". And he did. Onto the dog. Finally after convincing this small ball of energy to be still. He fell asleep. And I drifted off to sweet slumber.
After the first days shenanigans, I was ready to get HOME. Quickly. And we did. The children were awesome, entertained, and well-behaved. This must have been GRACE because I just don't know if I could have handled more bodily fluids, screaming, or multiple unexpected stops. We made it! We survived! We were not to be bound to this car for any longer. It was all Happily Ever After...then I remembered I do have to return to Tennessee. Aw Lawd! Please pray for me! And remind me next time I think this is a good idea to just buy a plane ticket!
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