Why I’m secretly Glad My Kids Don’t Want to go to School

Just like any parent, I’m worried about my children’s education. In our city, we have almost as many private schools as public and the debate on where to send your child begins en utero. We bought a house specifically for the elementary school. So, yeah, I believe school is important. Insert being raised in a family of educators and the pressure is on. My kids have to thrive in school.

Currently, we send our little men to a wonderful daycare. They have a curriculum that is wonderful and the staff is amazing. But Isaiah (and then Bennett, because big brother is always to be the example) will sometimes wake up and say, “I don’t wanna go to school today.” Brad and I are quick to explain and remind him of how much he likes school and usually by the time we arrive at the door he’s singing the praises of his class, teachers, and playtime.

This bothered me for quite a while. Things like, “Is he going to hate school, not put forth any effort, fail, have to deal with failure, feel like a failure, decide he couldn’t possibly make anything of himself in this world, and never amount to anything?” You can see that the slope is ever so slippery! We parents take a simple statement and make it into a life choice that will affect every potential aspect of our child’s future.

The other day, a new understanding (and I think a better one) was divinely revealed to me. This revelation makes more sense then the doomsday prophesy I was basing off my young son’s statement. It occurred to me that maybe he didn’t want to go to school because he has fun with his family. He likes to be and do things with us!

We have our days when Brad and I are exhausted and a movie is our savior, but a lot of times, we are out doing things, going to the aquarium, museums, and birthday parties. My kids and I traveled to Michigan and they get to run around with sparklers, see farm animals, “drive” semis, go to the splash park, and swim in Gigi’s pool. On the weekends, we take the boys out to eat and we try to get together with friends as much as possible. Just writing all of this makes me kind of wish I didn’t have to go to work either!

You see, I am a tad proud my children are enjoying their childhood this much! Home should be a place they want to be and come back to. When I taught 4^th and 5^th grade, I would notice the children who didn’t have a home life. The closer we got to the weekend, the more problems they had, and the more they acted out. They didn’t want to face the weekend because it might mean no food for the next two days, an abusive family member who they had to be subject to 24/7, or it may have meant just being left alone to take care of their three little siblings. Those children wanted to stay in school because it was safe, there was food, and there were adults who cared.

So I have shifted my views on this whole thing. And I’m not going to worry when he doesn’t want to go to school, because the truth is, it’s not that he doesn’t want to go to school, it’s that he just doesn’t want to miss an opportunity to make another memory. This is wonderful! In this life where so much emphasis is put on “the daily grind,” I want my children to have experiences that give them a broader respect for the world around them. I want them to know that their success is not determined by how well they stay still and how many A’s their report card has. I want them to have experiences that teach them that people are more important than things, and money buys a whole lot of problems, so use it wisely. These are things that may be touched upon inside the school walls, but these are most certainly things that have been entrusted to me as a parent. So, while we are still going to be responsible parents and send our child out to have his own experiences, I can’t help but be a little proud that he likes spending time with his family more than anything else!